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I talk about these subjects because I, too, experience them. So selfishly I find myself researching, learning, and sharing these topics with you so we can all be in the same boat and grow together. Today we talk about avoiding pain. Why we do it. How we can break through our fears to acknowledge the pain, get help, heal and become who we are meant to be because of the pain. We can’t avoid painful situations just as much as we can’t protect our children from them. PsychCentral writes:

“Dealing with something head on can make the feelings worse before they get better. We can postpone difficult emotions if we suppress dealing with the situation. Avoidance can be harmful in the long run leading to anxiety, fear and unhealthy decisions.” They continue talking about the subject of Avoidance Coping which is anything we do to avoid dealing with the pain. It may work temporarily but the things you use to avoid may amplify because of it. One example is drinking wine when you’re stressed out from being with your kids all day. Social media is also a huge mechanism we use- and at times the use is amplified when we are using it to avoid something difficult.

I was afraid of not being perfect. Not having my (bleep) together. Afraid of being vulnerable. Thinking (and hoping) that it would eventually get better. It didn’t. It never worked. It took women on big platforms telling me it was OK to not be perfect and to have pain in my life. Someone like Molly Shannon when she was a guest on the “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” podcast. You can listen to that episode here:

Thank you for listening and sharing your story with me and others. You can connect with my on Instagram at @michelle.a.mansfield or email me at

Mom Card Drawing of the Week: “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.” -Audre Lorde

Quote I love from Helen Keller: “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” -Helen Keller

Want in on a secret? You can have the feelings you're having and still love your baby at the same time. Don't believe me? Get my Momspirational Cards today!

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